Written by Steven Levitan, Directed by Gail Mancuso

"Jake Donovan. His mother insists there's nothing wrong with chain smoking, drinking whisky and riding roller-coasters while pregnant." -Tess

"Maddie Keller. Bartender, community college student. A simple girl who started with nothing and through hard work and determination now has very little." -Tess

"Like Martha Stewart says, if you leave nothing to chance, nothing will go wrong. And she has four houses." -Tess

"I'm not a big fan of models. I've got enough skeletons in my closet, I don't need one living across the hall." -Ian

"Ian and me? He's my weird friend." -Maddie
"She's my only normal friend." -Ian

"Before Henry I used to date a law student from Harvard who could only pee sitting down. Trust me, Ian's not so strange." -Tess

"So, when was the last time you danced?" -Maddie
"Ah, I dunno, about an hour ago. I was in the shower and Jake flushed the toilet." -Ian