Written by Steven Levitan, Directed by Ken Levine

Special guest star Steven Weber as Rod

Co-starring Larry Joe Campbell as man in elevator, Paul Ari Greenberg as yuppie

"That's amazing." -Ian
"That's creepy." -Henry
"What's your girlfriend's glove size?" -Ian
"Six and a half." -Henry
"That's creepy." -Ian

"Why do you smell like a daycare center in Calcutta?" -Ian to Henry

"Hey, Ian Stark, can I check out the rest of your pad?" -Rod
"Knock yourself out." -Ian
"No, my doctor told me to stop doing that." -Rod

"He's the reason I'm not living on the street stealing breadsticks off tables at outdoor cafes." -Ian
"You do that now." -Henry
"For fun, not survival." -Ian

"Guess what severly incapacitated man wrote six-hundred pages in two days?" -Henry
"Stop throwing Stephen King in my face." -Ian