Written by Alan Kirschenbaum, Directed by Jeff Melman

Guest starring Freddie Roman, Jack Carter, Jackie Gayle

Special appearance by John DiResta

"Juliet, thou art so hot. The blood of my heart rusheth to my codpiece." -Jake

"Just relax. They just think they're Romeo and Juliet. What's the worst that could happen?" -Ian
"Well, they could have sex and kill themselves." -Henry
"We should probably go look for them." -Ian

"Just think, Jake and Tess together. Where would they go?" -Ian
"Well, let's see, all we need is a strip joint that sells designer shoes." -Henry

"Whoah. This is the third time this week I've woken up in a strange apartment. Who'd I nail?" -Jake