Written by David A. Goodman, Directed by Michael Lembeck

Guest starring George Delhoyo as Vince, Gretchen Wyler as Miss Bickford

Co-starring Michael Auteri as Phyllis, Tony Cox as Goldy

Happy Chanukah! It's pronounced 'Hanukah.'" I know, I tried saying it like that, but I coughed up a Tic-Tac. "Of course she'll bring her plum pudding." -Henry into the phone
"Oh, tell him he can lick the spoon." -Tess
"Tell her she can kiss my a..." -Ian on the phone
"Ian sends kisses." -Henry to Tess

"Ian, what is this?" -Tess
"Chili." -Ian
"Chili? People want a white Christmas, not a white trash Christmas." -Tess

"Tess's mom has a strict rule that we can't do anything on Christmas day that Jesus didn't do. Apparently Jesus drank a pitcher of martinis and hit on the caterer." -Henry

"In kindergarten they asked us to draw pictures of our families and mine looked like a Benneton ad." -Tess

"We'd all gather around the piano and sing 'Let it Snow.' And you know what? It always did." -Tess
"How could it snow every single Christmas?" -Ian
"Daddy rented a machine." -Tess